Friday, December 23, 2016

When I saw her

I was in a world of darkness
that fed off my depression and madness
for me, there was no light
no will to fight

until one day 
just when I felt all hope was lost
and all I could feel is unimaginable fright
you walked into my life
and as I saw your face for the first time
the darkness around began to convert into love and light

you were the most beautiful woman I have ever seen
the image of  you burned in my heart and my inner being
I can't stop desiring you
I can't stop dreaming of you
I feel like I can overcome the darkness of the underworld
by just the single thought of you

I need your lips to embrace my lips
I want to engulf you with my eternal love 
I need you in my arms
I need you when I sleep
my beautiful girl, for all eternity you are the one I want to keep

don't ever be afraid 
I will guard you safely in my heart
I'll fight away your enemies
I will proudly and courageously fight for your honor 
I will be your shield your helmet your sword
I will be your entire armor

I'de proudly lay down my life for you my love
because to me you are worth an honorable death
I would happily accept death
as long as your safe above

I love you mi amor


Monday, December 5, 2016

this is for

this is for
 the invisible
 who are constantly overlooked and never appreciated
and feel like their hearts are pierced by a sharp dagger
because no one tells them that they matter
and if ever anyone does notice them
they feel it's nothing short of an unreal miracle

this is for
the Bullied
who get picked on without explanation
instead of getting to know us
no, they chase us, disgrace us, beat us, embarrass us
on a daily basis

this is for
the disabled 
who have people harass them because of their challenge
instead of doubting,discriminating and judging
society should fill their mind with knowledge
and give the disabled credit because they can still manage their disadvantage

I am the invisible
I am the Bullied
I am the disabled
as you can see
this poem is for others like me




Wednesday, November 9, 2016

shackles

this great misery that weighs down on me
shackles chaining me to the floor
restricting me from being free
darkness all around stealing my ability to see

I look to the skies with tears in my eyes 
crying out for a rescuer, a helper, a savior, 
anyone or anything that can save me from this repetitive mind numbing torture
the torture of seeing everyone else be as free and happy as can be
living there lives
working at their dream job
finding true love
starting a family

but I'm here day after day
 year after year
entrapped in emotional shackles
experiencing an ocean of agony

with each day wasting away 
no hope, no purpose, no future
no nothing, except this constant torture

I dream and pray, of the day 
when I finally find the key 
to release me 
from these horrid shackles
so I can finally run away

yes run

and begin living the life I should have been living
since day one

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

(haiku)

our relationship
the beginning of our relationship was "I like you".
the middle was "I love you".
the end was "I hate you".
night sky
the peaceful night sky 
the sound of crickets in bushes nearby
the warm breeze that flows by

Saturday, November 5, 2016

lonely breeze

lonely breeze flowing over seas
past the rocks
and through the trees

the sights that you see visually astound any who see
flying through warm fields and meadows
soaring over mighty mountains
as high as the eye can see

how great it must be 
flying free as can be
seeing places only wind can see

yet lonely it must be
being the only one that free
wishing you could show others
the magnificence that you see

Friday, November 4, 2016

the monster that isn't a monster

"t



the monster that isn't a monster
is treated like a monster
because he was born with a birth defect that he didn't ask for

if people only knew how much his heart shatters
but to everyone else, it never matters
when people constantly stare without any care

no one comes to his rescue
not one person didn't even try
while he's there being pointed at and laughed at 
everyone else nearby turned a blind eye

because of the cruelty of society
his heart isn't even a heart anymore
it's been crushed to pieces as it lays there 
 beyond repair

but no one cares

all they see is a monster who isn't a monster

he tries to show that he's still human
but no one gives him a chance 
and because of that, the anger and hatred 
is now beginning to consume him

one of these days,
because of the way people treat him
the monster that isn't a monster
will become a monster
and they will all regret the moment that they awoke with him





Thursday, November 3, 2016

The woman on the grass



The woman on the grass
Just laying there letting time pass
Without a care in the world
To her worry and anxiety 
are a thing of the past


With eyes closed She embraces the soft summer wind Passing over her body
She embodies Nature's peaceful beauty
Almost as if they are both combined
As if she was part of the original design


Her eyes lost among the skies 
Searching through the endless galaxies
Like as if they aren't held down by the laws of gravity


How peaceful she must feel
How relaxing it must be
I bet if she had the opportunity
She would lay there for eternity

Friday, October 28, 2016

restored memories

an ocean without water cannot compare to how empty my mind was
every childhood memory vanished with no trace
my most precious life moments mysteriously erased

that first bike ride 
alongside the cityside

that first ride in a car
that made me feel like a shooting star

that first favorite movie 
that deeply moved me

that first kiss
that felt like a mega lightning storm of passionate bliss

it was all gone,no explanation.just gone
I focused endlessly day after day
but to no avail, the memories Vanished to the unknown far far away
I lost all hope
my faith became so small 
that in order to see it you now needed a telescope

then one day while drowning in my misery and pity
to my shock and surprise
a feeling surged through me
and I saw images flash through my mind
that brought back familiar feelings

it was all back
every precious memory
 I thought was forever lost to me
has finally returned to me
 once again allowing me to feel happy

the wind through my hair
the rush of moving at high speed 
the electric madness when those lips touched me
plus many more memories have returned to me

this is the story of restored memories






Tuesday, October 25, 2016

prepare for betrayal

I now see through the facade of people
pretending to be loyal
but when a price is involved
well then prepare for betrayal

I love you. they say,
but when someone better than you comes along
it's a treachery
that in the matter of a second
 you become a faint empty memory
a used up accessory
with the words "you never mattered to me"
inscribed on it
left on a dirt road
while people walk by and say what a pity
and laugh at your former glory

now you're all alone, your heart shattered and rusted
all because you trusted
so like I said
I now see through the facade of people
pretending to be loyal
but when a price is involved
well then prepare for betrayal


Sunday, October 16, 2016

something new



my life is a rerun 
that I can't seem to escape from

every day is the same routine and the same actions
I wish one day I could wake up and it will all be different
new things to do, new things to experience
but each day no matter how much I try,beg and plead
I never notice a difference

what an agony to waste away 
constantly repeating over the same day
my heart intensely craving the desire of having a better life 
one where I love to wake up in the morning 
 where waking up doesn't feel like I got stabbed with a knife

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

My desire

I desire you like my body desires air
To feel your lips upon mine
Is my toxic fascination
To have you is my only prayer

To give you my love
Would be celestial bliss and liberation
Your embrace is my eternal heaven
Your voice is my eternal addiction

I promise never to hurt you
I promise to be all you ever need me to be
I promise to carry you when you're weak
I promise to always keep you safe as can be

Just let me love you
Let me make you mine
I'll be good to you
Even after the end of time

Monday, September 26, 2016

a silent prayer


Sunday, September 25, 2016

the Reflection


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Fully Repaired


sister



hi mom, it's nice to see you 
I don't mean to bother
but I just wanted to remind you
that I'm your daughter


I love you very much
and I love my sister too
but you never acknowledge 
that I'm your daughter too

sister wins a medal
sister gets love
I win a trophy
I don't even get a hug

am I that bad a child
that your so ashamed of me?
I try to do good
I try to make you proud of me
I accomplish things that have never been done before

but still you love sister way more 

I wish you were there
I wish, to you I was special
but I haven't heard that 
no I haven't heard that not ever
and the only reason why 
is because you think sister is better






sad


My fears

I can't take the pain 
I can't take the tears 
I can't take the fears 
Whispering in my ears 
  
Every day its an all out attack  
I want to experience something new 
But my fears keep holding me back 
  
I want to live my life to the ultimate fullest 
No what if this 
Or what if that 
No fears pushing me back 
Just me living my life 
Yes me living my life to the ultimate fullest 

Memories

  

Light of Hope

Darkness is where I stand
so dark I can't even see my hand
my eyes shaded with black
because of the light that I lack

don't know where i'm going 
can't see what i'm doing
and with every move 
my chest is heavily pounding

with the sound of each breath
im feeling so much closer to death

yet in the distance 
is light what i see?
that light, it's shining straight towards me

with a flash, a man appears
walks up to me
removes my tears
fights away my fears
and says dont worry my child
for you I will always be here.

he extends his hand all the way
and says come with me I know the way

Invisible

am I invisible
am I not here
do I exist
or am I not real


you act like you don't see me

like I was never there
pushed aside
you made me more invisible than air


but when I vanish

suddenly I'm known
you look for me 
but now you're alone


I was here but you chose not to look

I didn't matter to you
I knew by just one look


one question that is asked on and on 

why do people notice you
the second you're gone?

a gift from above



a gift from above
is a gift like no other
you can use it for yourself
or use it to change another
you can inspire the hearts of many
or just do nothing and not inspire any

Society

one thing about me
is that all my life
Society has always treated me Differently

Since childhood,
ive dealt with Everything from
being picked on because of my shoe size
having girls constantly call me ugly 
people staring for no reason
to being laughed at simply because of what im wearing 

till this day, I just can't understand 
what it is about me that make people react
that way
Everywhere I go, I get the same Dirty looks
and the same smirks and laughter

people who don't know me
assume they know me
and have the audacity
to profile me
and in there mind
make me out to be some kind of monster

its to the point that now sometimes
whenever im around other people
without wanting to, I start getting
panic attacks. even the depths of my soul
begin to tremble

Everytime morning draws near
going out in public has become my greatest fear

they say you got to give respect to get respect.
im sorry, but I kinda find that funny
because no matter how much respect i try to give,
that phrase just never seems to work for me

I Might as well get a Tattoo of a thousand
footprints going all across my back
to symbolize how many times I have allowed
all of Society to outnumber me
slam me to the ground,stomp all over me
then drag me to a dumpster
shove me in it 
and throw me out like crap

and the frustrating thing is, if I stand up
and say, HEY! IM TIRED OF BEING TREATED THIS WAY!
what Happens?
later on somebody wants to walk up to me and tell me
im in the wrong.

the whole world can speak their mind 
the whole world can voice their opinion
but if I speak up for myself
I get told to shut up
and go back to not existing

whats it feel like to always be made fun of my foot problems?

whats it feel like to always be the guy that people just love to laugh at for no reason?

whats it feel like to always be a damn joke to everybody?

whats it feel like to love the ladies so much but no matter how precious I see them or how valuable they are to me. all my life, ive had to constantly have all the ladies call me ugly? to where there was a time in my life that whenever i walked by a mirror I wanted to cover my face in shame and terror

whats it feel like?
picture this

someone with no remorse, pulling the trigger of a high powered state of the art machine gun 
and having 100 Billion bullets shot straight towards your chest 
with no hesitation

but the bullets peirce your heart in slow motion

thats what it feels like.

so I ask 1 question 
can someone,anyone
please explain to me 
how many more times
do I have to Endlessly walk through the fires of Hell

for Society to stop Laughing at me
and Finally take me seriously


Mystery girl

mystery girl if only you knew
what I felt the second I saw you


you entered my world and my heart stopped

seeing you standing there, my blood pressure dropped


can't believe what I'm seeing

your presence reached the inner depth of my feeling


if only you knew how I felt

if only I had the courage to tell you


oh mystery girl if only you knew 

that the girl I'm talking about is you